Crossing Boundaries.

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I have always pride myself on setting boundaries and by the grace of God was able to maintain them.
Of late it seems to be a challenge to maintain my clean record of boundary keeping.
I am still good at setting them, but the problem seems to be in keeping them.
I seems to be more into testing the waters and crossing lines these days.
There is always consequence for allowing one self to indulge in things that you know you hart not to, but in spite of the obvious you walk headlong into the forbidden anyways, not thinking about the after but the present pleasure such activities might provide, sadly to say these short live pleasure always leave me feeling  insecure and unassertive.
You could call it curiosity a moment of weakness, whatever terms work best, but we all have them and for those who don't I salute you.
The hardest part of getting over the initial dilemma we all suffer at doing that which we think we never would have done,{ not even in our wildest dreams.]
Is the battle with guilt,shame, sadness and if other parties are involve the constant inner conflict of how they might or might not be feeling about us, we become paranoid we analyze everything they do or say to try and figure out how they are feeling.
For me however I have learned from crossing lines that there is a sense of development and maturity that one can gain from such experience.
There is the accepting process, I did it and there is nothing I can do to change it.
The healing process, forgiveness and affirmation, what I did doesn't make  me any less of a woman or man, I am special now as before I did it.
The restoration process, knowing that I need  strength beyond my own to motivate, and inspire me, my choice for this process is Jesus He is good at fixing and He will never fail in doing so , I also trust Him immensely.
Then there is the healing, where I allow all the element involve in seeing me through to do their work without interference and doubt..
Yes life goes on and I may or may not cross my boundary again but if I do, I know exactly where to go to feel whole again.
Knowing that my experience teaches me is great, but even greater when I realize the lesson and comfort I can be for someone going through the same situation.